Something Reasonable
by PunishmentFactor
Summary: Before S.I.N.'s fighting tournament, Seth promised Juri Han he would give her anything she desired, so long as it was "reasonable." Well, the tournament is just weeks away, and Juri finally comes to collect. What on earth could she possibly want?


**Hi guys. So, I wasn't going to upload this until the end of April, but I was getting tired of it collecting dust on my desktop (of Juri and Chun-Li) so I was thinking of maybe posting it tonight, and then I got a message on my dA account asking about the fic, so I thought, what the heck, and went for it.**

**Sorry it's not the Juri/Chun sequel to **_**"Reversal"**_** I've had lots of people asking me for. There will be more Juri/Chun to come but I wanted to do something funny.**

**This fic takes place directly after the Super Street Fighter IV OVA and right before the SSFIV tournament. It's drawn off a brief conversation during the OVA between Juri and Seth in which Seth promises to give Juri anything she wants so long as it's 'reasonable,' and Juri is like "meh, I don't want anything so long I get to have fun." I did have a picture that inspired the fic as well, but I'll put that at the end because it's got spoilers.**

**I seriously want to thank my beta reader on this one. He was awesome really helped me through multiple drafts, as well my proofreader who was also my beta on **_**Reversal**_**. I had a team on this one!**

**Juri/Street Fighter/Everyone – Owned by Capcom.**

* * *

><p>It was a typical, uneventful day at a concealed branch of S.I.N. headquarters outside London. Seth sat in his study in the left wing of the extensive facility, pouring over a set of papers in regard to the international fighting tournament that would be underway in a matter of weeks. Another stack on his right awaited his signature for further authorization of the BLECE project. Seth sipped lightly on a glass of wine, content with what he felt was a well-deserved rest upon his laurels. The fighting tournament would be his crowning achievement and provide him with the information that would propel him beyond Bison and Shadaloo; beyond humanity.<p>

_Yes_, he thought with satisfaction as he reclined in his large, expensive leather chair. His assured success in the fighting tournament would bring him even closer to the edge of _godhood_. What a pleasant, quiet day to reflect -

"SSEETTTTHHHH!"

Seth cringed as an all too familiar voice shattered the tranquility of his study. "Move, idiots," the voice drawled through the door, and Seth cringed as he heard the loud 'thwacks' and simultaneous groans of pain of his body guards hitting the floor. The door was kicked open and thrown off its hinges where it left a large dent in the pristine, polished, recently waxed floor.

In the doorway stood an upright female figure; one leg extended.

_"SSEEETTTTHHHH!_" shouted Juri Han, striding obstinately into the room, hands akimbo.

"Yes Juri?" sighed Seth, rubbing his temples.

"Seth," repeated Juri, sidling up to his desk. "I know what I want!" She slammed her gloved hand down onto the desk, knocking over a jar of pens and a sculpture of the god Adonis; causing it to break.

Seth blinked, looking from his broken statue to Juri. "I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean, Juri," he said, very slowly.

"I know what I want," repeated Juri, even more emphatically. When Seth did not respond, Juri growled in annoyance.

"When you updated my eye before I went after the Dolls, you said you'd give me anything I wanted while I worked for you, right?"

"Oh…" said Seth apprehensively, realizing what she was on about. The conversation resurfaced in his mind, in which Juri had strutted about nonchalantly in an eye patch while they pulled data from the Feng Shui Engine.

"Well Juri," said Seth hesitantly, wondering what in the world Juri had come to collect. "I seem to recall saying I'd give something you desired so long as it was _reasonable._"

"Well I know what I want, _now,_" said Juri, hands on her hips.

"That's…err…that's fine Juri, so long as it's…_reasonable_," repeated Seth, laying delicate stress on the word 'reasonable.' Seth braced himself for an argument, figuring Juri's definition of 'reasonable' likely included weapons of mass destruction or expensive hair products.

"I want a pet."

"Pardon?" said Seth, not sure he had heard correctly.

"I said I want a _pet_, dumbass."

"Oh…well," said Seth, unsure whether to be relieved or apprehensive of Juri's request. "I'm not quite certain this facility is a…err… _suitable_ home for a pet. And considering we're frequently moving around from base to base, it might not be feasible to try and bring a pet along. And-"

"Are you saying I can't take care of a pet?" demanded Juri.

Seth was more concerned with exactly _how_ Juri would attempt to care for something like a pet. Given her overzealous personality and strength, Seth wasn't sure Juri had the capacity to 'pet something gently.' He could see her strolling into his office days later, holding a holding a dead rabbit wearing a purple ribbon and saying mildly _"Ummm…Seth? I think broke it."_

"I am merely suggesting that it might perhaps be difficult for you to care for a pet given our current circumstances," said Seth. He gestured around his very clean study, with the exception of the recently maimed door.

"Fuck that Seth," said Juri, stomping her foot and causing a globe on a nearby bookcase to topple over. "You told me you'd give me something I wanted. I want a pet."

"Alright Juri," said Seth, sighing as he straightened his pens back into their jar. "I'll…I'll get you a goldfish."

"A goldfish?" repeated Juri incredulously. "I don't want a goldfish you cheap bastard!"

"What's wrong with a goldfish?" asked Seth, who had hoped to mollify Juri with the most boring, harmless pet possible.

"I want a _real_ pet, stupid," said Juri.

"Fish are real -"

"No," said Juri. "Fish are decorations. Fish are for frying and cooking and eating. It you get me a fish Seth, I'll just eat it."

"Well," said Seth, taken aback. He glanced at the clock on his desk. Juri had now taken up seven minutes of his time. This was five minutes too many. He _had_ been having a productive morning.

"What would _you_ consider to be a _real_ pet?" he asked, bracing himself for Juri to respond with anything from a gerbil to a komodo dragon.

"Something I can play with."

Had _anyone_ but Juri Han described a pet as "something I can play with," Seth would have thought nothing of it. But when those words came out of Juri, one had to wonder how she was defining the word '_play._'

"So, you _don't_ have a particular kind of pet in mind?" asked Seth.

"Not really," said Juri shrugging.

"Well in that case," said Seth. "When you have a clearer idea of just what it is you want, you can come back and inform -"

"No Seth, I want to go pick out a pet right now."

"Now Juri, that's being unreasonable," Seth said, fixing Juri with what he hoped was a stern and intimidating glare. "And besides, I'm busy today, and tomorrow, and at the end of the week we have to go to the base in Thailand, so I can't go taking off to banter with trivialities like a pet, I – "

A soft pink light was filling the room.

"Now Juri," Seth began tentatively. "I don't think there's any need for…"

Juri was grinning. The light was getting brighter.

Seth sighed.

* * *

><p>"One hour," Seth said firmly to the van driver.<p>

Juri had already sauntered halfway down the street, dressed in skinny jeans and a haltered tank top, peering at the shops. She had refused to take her hair down much to Seth's chagrin, and pedestrians were already staring.

"SETH! I FOUND IT!" she shouted down the street, causing even more people to stare.

"Make that forty-five minutes," said Seth, shutting the door. He straightened his tie and walked brusquely after Juri, steeling himself for forty-five uninterrupted minutes of Juri's antics.

Juri was already in the pet store looking over a cage of rabbits. Seth was reminded of his earlier thought about how a rabbit would fare in Juri's 'loving' embrace, and quickly glanced around the shop for something that Juri might have a more difficult time damaging.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like a nice…_fish?_" he suggested, gesturing hopefully at several large tanks.

Juri shot him a poisonous look.

"There are some very nice, _purple _fish," said Seth, gesturing at a less-than-healthy-looking purple fish that was floating rather close to the top of the tank.

"That thing is going to kick the bucket the minute I try and pet it," said Juri, looking unimpressed.

"Juri, you don't pet _fish…_"

"Oh hey, good afternoon," said a freckled teenage boy, shuffling around a shelf of dog treats. "How can I help youuu…."

His voice trailed off in dismay as he took in Juri's odd hair and eyes and Seth's silver skin. Seth had to admit, they made a ridiculous pair.

"I'm here for a pet," said Juri flatly.

"Yes, something…_reasonable,_" said Seth quickly.

"Um…well, we are a _pet_ store," said the boy, with some small regain of his composure, still plainly terrified of both of them. "What sort of pet are you looking for?"

"I don't know," said Juri impatiently. "That's why I'm here."

Seth tried to give the employee an apologetic look, though the teenager seemed to be uncertain whom to be more afraid of between the two of them.

"Well, we just received some new birds yesterday," he said finally, straightening his glasses and indicating a corner of the shop that several cages of parakeets and one large cerulean parrot.

"I like the parrot," said Juri.

Seth was struck with the mental image of his clean, attractive, well-organized office, and then saw it filled with the addition of a parrot swooping about, overturning books, papers, his large, expensive statues and leaving feathers and bird droppings all over his newly waxed floor.

"Now Juri, are you sure such a large bird would be practical?" said Seth quickly, "After all, it wouldn't have much space to fly around-"

"Shut up, Seth," said Juri. She turned abruptly to the employee. "Does it talk?" she inquired.

"Well," stammered the teenager, cowering under Juri's glare. "It _could_ learn to talk, I mean…its able to and all, but it's only been here a couple of days; it hasn't learned anything yet…"

Juri had already swaggered over to the bird's cage.

"Oi," she said, snapping her fingers to get the bird's attention. "Talk to me. S_hib-seh-ggi."_

The bird cocked its head.

"Don't ignore me. S_hib-seh-ggi."_

The bird made a disgruntled noise.

"Are you…uhh…foreign?" the boy asked nervously, looking from Juri to Seth.

"Err…yes. She is," said Seth. "I'm…something like that."

"Listen stupid, _shi –"_

"Alright Juri, enough," cut in Seth. "If you want the bird we'll get it and you can teach it whatever you want when we get back to the lab– I mean when we get back home."

"No I don't want it," said Juri over her shoulder. "I'm just trying to get it to swear."

The boy made a disparaging noise. Seth rolled his eyes.

"Then how about we find something you _do_ want so we can get _out_ of here," said Seth, grabbing Juri by the arm and grabbing her dragging her away from the parrot, who was only managing to pronounce '_shhhh.'_

"Jeez, buzz kill much," Juri muttered, pulling her arm free and stalking off.

The shopkeeper was now avoiding any kind of eye contact with either Juri or Seth and was busying himself arranging and re-arranging a display or dog collars and leashes. Seth couldn't help but entertain the thought that a leash and collar were just what Juri needed, but was not about voice this notion with Juri in earshot.

"Hey kid, I have a question," Juri yelled, causing the boy in knock over the display of dog collars.

Seth saw to his dismay that Juri was looking at a tank containing a small snake.

"Hey Seth, check it out!" said Juri, pointing at the tank. "I should totally get a snake!"

Seth pictured of Juri strutting about S.I.N. with a large boa constrictor draped around her shoulders like a fur stole, and was now wishing he had convinced her to take the parrot.

"Hey kid, do you have any other snakes?" asked Juri enthusiastically. "Like, bigger ones? This guy's kind of little. Or how about something that's poisonous?"

The boy's eyebrows shot up.

"Ma'm…it's…it's illegal to sell poisonous snakes and reptiles," he stammered.

"Bullshit! said Juri. "That's so boring! I want something I can sic on people if I'm being threatened! Man, if the cops showed up our place, I could just pull out my badass snake and-"

Seth clamped a hand over Juri's mouth. "I think we'll be going now," he said very loudly, starting to drag Juri out of the shop.

"No way Seth! If there was a raid or something, think what I could do with a whole bunch of snakes—"

"We're very sorry to have taken up so much of your time!" Seth half-shouted to the employee, still trying to silence Juri as he dragged her swearing and protesting out of the shop.

"What the hell Seth?" demanded Juri. "I wasn't finished looking!"

"Alright listen," snarled Seth, grabbing Juri by the shoulders and shaking her. "I agreed to put up with your foolishness and go shopping for a goddamn _pet_ of all asinine things, but so help me I will _not_ put up with you constantly making a scene of yourself! Do you want INTERPOL or Delta Red to know we're here?"

"Oh my god, as if Delta Red spends their Saturday afternoons creeping around _pet stores_ waiting for people like us to show up," said Juri, rolling her eyes. "You're just pissed off because you had to put on _clothes._"

She sauntered off down the sidewalk, Seth fuming behind her. She stopped in a storefront in which multiple advertisements had been put up. Garage sales and used cars and instruments, local concerts, meetings, lost and found items and the like. Seth saw Juri was looking at one picture in particular, an ad showing a small white cat that had been missing for a few days and offering a reward.

"Hey Seth!" said Juri, pointing a finger eagerly at the ad. "There's a free cat around here somewhere!"

Seth looked at the ad again.

"No Juri, that's says _lost_ cat, not _free _cat," he said.

"I read English, stupid," said Juri, rolling her eyes. "But if there's a random cat wandering around I can just take it off the street!"

"Juri, that's stealing…"

_"Oh my God!"_ Juri half yelled, causing more than a few pedestrians to stare. "For _YOU_ of ALL PEOPLE to lecture me about _STEALING?_ You run an international illegal weapons syndicate for christ's sake, and you've got a problem with me picking up someone's cat off the street? You _HYPOCRITE_! If picking up animals off the street would make you invincible, or grant you 'ultimate power' or whatever the hell you want, you'd be turning S.I.N. into a friggin' S.P.C.A!"

"Alright fine!" Seth shouted. "If you want to waltz around here looking for a cat, be my guest! I'm calling the van! You can meet me back here in a half hour, with or without the goddamn cat!"

* * *

><p>Juri strutted out of a bakery, eating a muffin. She had no intention of looking for the cat. She didn't even want a cat. What she mainly wanted was to piss Seth off.<p>

And if she found the cat, she'd find…something to do with it.

She ambled down a small alley, pondering what kind of pet she did actually want. Not a cat. Not a fish. Not a bird. Something more…badass, like a German Shepard.

Or an octopus.

Juri was contemplating what she could do with an octopus through a mouthful of blueberry muffin, when there was a loud yell from behind her. Before she could react she felt the heel of a boot collide with her back, knocking her into the alley wall and completing winding her.

Enraged, Juri spun around in time to see the figure of Cammy White, standing rigidly in civilian clothes, her fists raised. A pile of canvas shopping bags lay thrown aside on the ground. Her expression one of shock and rage, Cammy threw herself at Juri, pinning her against the brick wall.

"JURI!" she screamed, her nails digging into Juri's shoulders. "What the hell are you doing here? Where are my sisters? What have you done with them?"

"Well look, you did survive," cooed Juri, unfazed. "Cats really do have nine lives. Really kitty, I wasn't finished with my muffin. If you wanted some you could have just asked…"

Cammy slapped her across the face. "Stop screwing around!" she snarled. "You're under arrest. On your knees."

Juri snorted. "Please dear, we're not close enough for that sort of thing," she drawled. Juri blinked and activated the Feng Shui Engine; the force of violet energy burst from her eye and expelled Cammy off of her, sending her sprawling across the pavement.

"Tell me what you've done with my sisters!" Cammy screamed, shooting to back her feet, her fists raised in a fighting stance.

"What, the Dolls? You needn't worry about them Cammy. I take good care of my toys."

With a cry of rage Cammy shot low to the ground and launched herself at Juri, aiming for her legs. Juri narrowly dodged Cammy's boots and flipped backwards into a pinwheel kick that caught Cammy in the jaw, sending her reeling back. Juri landed and shot her legs into Cammy's ankles, throwing her off balance. Grinning, Juri pounced, straddling Cammy to the ground and pinning her down

"Look kitten, are you sure you want to lose another one of those lives?" smirked Juri, tugging playfully on one of Cammy's braids and watching her squirm underneath her. "Why don't we call it quits? I've got places to be and I don't have a convenient way of disposing you like last time. I won't even make you buy me another muffin."

Cammy growled and shot her legs inward, her knees locking around Juri's waist and wrenching her off. Juri toppled sideways, off-balance, only to have Cammy – now back on her feet– grab her by the hair and throw her face first into the brick wall, where she slid down.

Cammy loomed over her, her fists raised and her legs tensed for the minute Juri tried to get back on her feet.

"Hmph," said Cammy, brushing herself off. "And I was having a bad day. Bringing you in will certainly make up for it.

"Aww…Kitty's having a bad day?" said Juri thickly from her position on the ground, trying to stem her bloody nose. "Nobody pet you this morning?"

"Enough!" snarled Cammy. "You're coming with me. Unless you want more persuading."

"Really Cammykins, what's got you so upset? I'm dying to know."

"It's none of your business."

"Pleasssee?" whined Juri. "If you tell me, I'll come…_quietly._" She batted her eyelashes and put on a pout that was somewhat marred by her bloody nose and bruised face.

"God, you're disgusting," said Cammy. "If you really want to know, my cat ran away a few days ago. Happy? Now on your feet."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," said Juri, shaking her head. "That lost cat in the pictures around here is _your_ cat?"

Cammy's expression changed drastically.

"Have you seen him?" she asked, her eyes wide.

Juri blinked, startled by Cammy's abrupt change of attitude. So Cammy wanted her cat back this badly did she? Juri pondered just how much she could screw around with…

"He's white, right?" she asked.

"Yes, yes!" cried Cammy. "You really saw him? Where?"

"Oh my god Cammy," said Juri, her face taking on an expression of shocked horror. "I…I am so…sorry."

"WHAT?" cried Cammy. "WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CAT?"

Juri was biting her lip in an attempt to keep from laughing; hoping the look was coming off as pained and remorseful.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?" Cammy shrieked, her voice hysterical. Then she froze, comprehension etched into her face.

"Did _you_ do something to him?"

"Cammy…I…" said Juri, still struggling not to laugh.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY CAT?" Cammy screamed, throwing herself on top of Juri and shaking her.

"Cammy," wheezed Juri, her head lolling about as Cammy continued to manhandle her. "I…I'm so sorry. If I had known it was _your_ cat…I mean…really, I'm not _that_ mean, I never…I never would have…I thought it was a stray. Oh God…"

_"WHAT DID YOU DO?" _Cammy screamed, her face contorted, tears spilling out of her eyes. _"TELL ME!"_

"Well, Cammy have you…have you ever been to Korea?"

Cammy stopped shaking Juri, her expression one of furious incredulity.

"What the bloody hell does that have to do with my cat?" she demanded.

"So…no, I take it?" asked Juri, raising an eyebrow. Cammy was way more fun to piss off than Seth.

"_TELL ME WHAT YOU DID!" _Cammy screamed, grabbing ahold of Juri, their faces inches apart.

"Well, in Korea…you know," said Juri in an awkward voice. "We have different…err…customs. You know, we do things a little different and we see things like…well like _pets_ differently too. I mean, a stray cat…that's like…that's…well that's like free food in the middle of the street."

_**"WHAT!"**_ Cammy screamed, releasing Juri in shock and repulsion as if burned; her face a mask of horror. **"YOU **_**ATE**_** MY CAT?**_**"**_

"Well if it's any consolation Cammy," said Juri, massaging her neck and stifling a giggle. "He tasted gr—"

-_WHAM-_

Cammy's fist collided with Juri's face. Juri barely had time to duck out of the way of Cammy's next blow, which cracked the bricks and left a sizable hole in the wall where her face had been moments before.

Juri's vision was swimming, her head still dizzy from Cammy's punch. She could feel her right eye swelling shut and was only thankful the Engine had not been damaged.

She parried Cammy's next kick with one of her own, only to have Cammy dart underneath her. Disoriented, Juri felt the impact of the kick to her lower back before she slammed into the ground; and now Cammy was on top of her, just as Juri had been moments before.

Forget a woman scorned, Juri thought as she looked up into Cammy's face, distorted with rage. Lord help the person who comes between a woman and her cat.

Cammy had reached for a large piece of brick that had fallen when she punched the wall.

"I'll tell them it was an accident," she snarled, raising the piece of brick. "That you refused to come quietly."

Juri was contemplating that now would probably be a good time to activate the Engine again, when there was an odd, quiet pattering noise right behind her. Something was… _purring_, right by behind her head.

Cammy dropped the brick, hitting Juri's ear. Juri swore loudly and turned her head to see a set of little white paws.

"Nigel?" whispered Cammy.

There was a soft patter and Juri saw the white paws of a cat trot to Cammy.

"N-Nigel…" Cammy murmured, her lower lip trembling. Nigel answered with a _'mrow'_ as Cammy looked from Juri to the cat in disbelief.

Cammy reached out and scooped up the cat; squeezing it her chest with tears in her eyes.

"Oh Nigel…I…I thought…"

Juri decided it was time to make a swift exit. Taking advantage of Cammy's momentary distraction, she threw Cammy off of her, shot to her feet and bolted.

"It was fun kitties!" she yelled over her shoulder. "Cammy, you owe me a muffin!"

She rounded a corner and kept running, not bothering to check and see if Cammy was perusing her. Maybe she'd go buy ice cream or something to keep Seth waiting a little bit longer. Then again, Cammy would likely be alerting the entire country to her presence any second now so –

A hand clamped over her mouth and another grabbed her by the hair, pulling her into a black van.

* * *

><p>"What the hell Seth? I thought I was being kidnapped! Way to bring back traumatic childhood memories!" Juri yelled indignantly. "And my hair…do you know how long it takes me to do my hair?"<p>

"Damn it Han, what the hell have you been doing?" Seth demanded. "Obviously _not_ looking for that stupid cat. What happened to your face?"

"What's it look like Seth?" said Juri, indicating her black eye. "I got in a fight."

"You got in a _fight_?"

"Yeah, it was fun."

"With _who?"_

"Oh, that Delta Red girl," said Juri mildly. "Cammy-something. You know, walks around with her ass hanging out? Doesn't wear pants; kind of like you. I threw her off a plane once."

_"Delta Red knows we're here?"_

"Well they don't know about you –"

"GODDAMN IT HAN!" Seth bellowed. "You've jeopardized our entire European network! You've just compromised all the work we've put in here this week in preparation for the tournament! You might as have just handed Delta Red the keys to the front door! And for what? So you could drag me out all day so you could look for a stupid, foolish, idiotic _pet_—"

"That's right!" said Juri, pointing a finger rigidly at Seth. "I still don't have a pet. I know what I want now. I want an octopus."

"What an…octopus? No! You are NOT getting an octopus! You're not getting a pet at all!" Seth roared. "We are going back to the lab to maximize security after your little stunt and – "

"You know," said Juri, folding her arms and gazing indirectly at some spot above the window. "When you grabbed me back there, I was about a half a second away from activating the Engine. It's a good thing I realized it was you, or I could have blown the whole car up. Or half the street. I mean, Cammy and I just got into a little scuffle in an alleyway, nobody even noticed. But blowing up a car, or part of a street, _that_ would get people's attention."

She flashed her eyes at Seth, who blanched as he saw that the Engine flickering.

"Man…I'm so upset I didn't get a pet," said Juri calmly, her artificial eye still glowing**. **"I could just blow something up right now; that's how pissed I am."

"Stop that Juri," snarled Seth.

"I don't know, maybe it would calm me down if I had an octopus …"

"Enough!"

"I was soooo looking forward to have something I could cuddle on the way home," said Juri in a wistful voice, her eye growing steadily brighter. "I might have to take all this anger out on something…like…this car…"

"I am not putting up with this Han!"

"Hey driver," Juri called to the S.I.N. agent driving the van. "Can't you take pity on a poor kid like me? I just got beat up and then Seth here nearly gave me a heart attack because I thought he was trying to kidnap me! And all I wanted today was to pick out a pet!"

Her voice was utterly pathetic, but her eyes were a challenge in the mirror in the front seat as she met the driver's gaze, the Feng Shui Engine tremulously bright.

Sweat was beading up on the driver's forehead, his eyes darted in the mirror to meet Seth's with a pleading look that clearly read "Who do I listen to?"

Seth groaned.

* * *

><p>"Really Seth, are you sure this place isn't too high-profile?" asked Juri with a grin as the car pulled into the parking lot of a PetMart some thirty minutes into the next town.<p>

"I swear to god Han, if you can't find something here, you can forget about a pet," said Seth, getting out of the car.

"Jeez, no pressure," said Juri rolling her eyes.

The automatic doors slid open to admit them to a large display of fish tanks.

_"No,"_ said Juri, before Seth had even opened his mouth. She sauntered over to a hamster wheel and watched the hamster scurry around in its little wheel with an expression of distaste.

"Look Juri," said Seth, rubbing his pale temples. "You wanted a pet, now is _not_ the time to be picky. If you – "

"Well I'm not going to find a pet if you keep distracting me!" said Juri indignantly. She stalked off, twirling one of the front chunks of her hair around her finger.

Seth knew that following Juri would only continue to aggravate her and lessen the chances of her actually finding and deciding something, but leaving her unsupervised she was likely to set the store on fire or damage an employee in the fish section.

He followed her at a distanced keeping track of her by her hair, which he finally saw stop in front of a series of tanks. Upon approaching, Seth saw to his chagrin that it was indeed a section marked for various reptiles. Judging by the boa constrictor in the nearby tank, Juri was indeed set on getting a large, potentially hazardous snake.

"Well, did you finally find a snake you—" Seth began in a resigned voice, only to stop. Juri was not looking at the boa constrictor.

"Oh my god," he muttered.

Juri's face was an expression of serenity and awe, her fingertips pressed to the glass and her eyes wide as she stared into a tank of very large tarantulas. She turned very slowly to look at Seth with abnormally wide eyes, her fingers still splayed across the tank's glass.

"Seth," she said in a very small, quiet voice. "I want one."

Seth looked again into the tank and involuntarily took a step backwards. There were three hairy little things scuttling around. One of them was eating a dead rat and the other two appeared to be wrestling with each other. Seth was repulsed, and failed to see how anyone could find such a thing attractive.

"I want one," repeated Juri in the same, odd little voice, her eyes fixed on the creatures in the tank. Seth wasn't sure which disturbed him more: the tarantulas themselves, or Juri's abnormal reaction to them.

But as much as Seth did not want to admit it, this was the calmest and quietest he thought he had _ever_ seen Juri. As disgusting as the things were, maybe a tarantula was what would keep Juri…tranquilized.

"Well Juri," said Seth, sighing resignedly**.** "If that is what you want, I can concede that it is…reasonable."

"Can I help you two…..?"

The green-vested employee's voice trailed off in apprehension as he approached the two of them. Juri's face still looked as though she had been recently hit by a car.

"I want one," Juri said for a third time, pointing into the tank of tarantulas. Seth was beginning to feel extremely unnerved**.** He didn't think he'd _ever_ seen Juri like this.

"Yes," said Seth brusquely before Juri could say anything else or change her mind. "Well take one of the little…err...creatures and the tank and food everything else that goes with it."

"Oh excellent," said the employee beaming. "I'll get you two set up and —"

"Do they come any bigger?" asked Juri innocently, pointing again at the tank. "I mean, I kind of wanted something I could put on a leash."

Seth blanched; he could barely stomach the tarantulas at their current size. The employee chuckled however.

"No, no Miss," he said good-naturedly. "These guys are young, so they'll get a little bit bigger, but not too much. Now was there one in particular that you wanted?"

"I want a girl."

* * *

><p>The employee turned out to be only a general sales rep and <em>not<em> an arachnid expert, and thusly unable to distinguish femininity on anything beyond a dog or a cat. The store's resident arachnid specialist was on their lunch break. Seth attempted to convince Juri that male and female tarantulas looked exactly the same and she had a fifty-fifty chance of ending up with a female. Juri was not satisfied with this explanation and insisted paging the 'arachnologist' from the café in the next plaza over so he could distinguish for her a _female_ tarantula.

A half hour later though, Juri was finally in the back of the van with a tank, dirt, sand, plastic leaves, a heat lamp, generic spider food, a tarantula's owner's manual, thirty dead rats, and one female tarantula, which was in a small box clutched in her hands on her lamp. She was still unsettlingly quiet.

"Well Juri," said Seth surveying her. "Are you satisfied?"

Juri nodded silently, staring at the box.

"Good," said Seth. "Now that this business is taken care of, we can focus our efforts now towards the upcoming fighting tournament."

Juri was not listening. She was still staring at the little box. She slowly flipped the little tabs keeping it closed and placed her hand inside.

"Now Juri," said Seth a little apprehensively. "Why don't you save that for when we get back?"

Juri had scooped up the tarantula in the palm of her hand and was now stroking it.

"Hey there beautiful," Juri crooned, holding it close to her face. It wiggled its pincers.

"Juri," said Seth a little more forcibly. "Let's…let's put it away or now."

_"Her_ name is Marie Antoinette," said Juri defensively.

Seth was not going to inquire as to why Juri had chosen to name her tarantula after a French queen known for eating cake.

"That's um…that's a very nice name," said Seth. "Now let's…let's put her away why don't we?"

The tarantula had now crawled up Juri's arm and settled on her shoulder, where she watched it with an expression of delight. It scuttled down onto her chest, where it perched on her left breast.

"Awww look Seth!" said Juri, beaming at the tarantula as is prodded one hairy leg into her cleavage. "She likes boobs! Just like me!"

"PUT IT AWAY!" Seth shouted.

Juri glared.

"You _meant_ to say Marie Antoinette," said Juri glowering. "You _meant _to say, put _her_ away." She cocked a thin eyebrow. "Are you afraid of her?" she asked, the smallest of smirks creeping onto her face.

Fear was the last thing Seth would ever admit to Juri.

"Absolutely not," he said. "I just don't want…_her_…running around in the car. It's um…not safe. For her, I mean."

Juri scowled but removed the tarantula from her cleavage and placed it back in its box.

Seth relaxed, and Juri remained silent the rest of the trip, staring at the little box.

* * *

><p>Seth sat on his elevated throne in S.I.N.'s main operational room. Screens of data and maps flashed around him as workers in lab coats scuttled about with files and computers. He flexed his fingers, surveying his domain with pleasure and waiting for the double doors below him to swing open.<p>

The fighting tournament had gone underway without a hitch. He had carefully tracked and recorded all the data retrieved on each fighter that had entered. He had avoided reading the elimination reports however; instead he immersed himself in footage and analyzed each fighter's moveset –some of them already ingrained in his body – so he would be ready to destroy any them when the time came. No mortal that came through those double doors would be unable to stand up to a _god_. And so he permitted himself and the final survivor the dignity of surprise.

And yet Seth was not surprised when Juri Han flung aside the doors and strode into the room, her footsteps echoing on the hexagon-patterned floor. Who else should be such a testimony to survival of the fittest? And now he could _finally_ repay her for her constant impudence and disrespect, for all her frivolities and attention-demanding antics. She would finally learn to respect him_…_right before he would quench her insatiable appetite for good. He would –

"SEETTHHHH!" Juri shouted, staring up at him, abruptly interrupting Seth's thought process.

Seth blinked, trying to regain his composure, completely taken aback. "Juri!" he said in what he felt was an impressive and threatening voice. "I'm impressed you made it this far! The time has come! Show me your power! Don 't hold –"

"SEETTTHHH!" Juri repeated, interrupting the speech Seth had been preparing for the past three days. She looked completely unconcerned. "Seth, have you seen Marie Antoinette?"

Seth gaped at her, completely disbelieving what he had just heard. "What?" he demanded, still trying to sound intimidating.

"Have you seen Marie Antoinette?" she repeated, an edge of desperation in her voice.

"Juri, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Well, when I got back, I thought I'd give her a snack before I came here. But when I got to my room she wasn't in her tank!" Juri said all in a rush, twisting her gloves hands together nervously. "I looked all over my room, but she's gone!"

Seth couldn't believe what he was hearing. He stared at Juri, completely dumbfounded. Here he was, at the climax of the fighting tournament…no…_his_ fighting tournament, and the woman he had put up with for months and had been waiting to destroy, for _once_ in her vicious life had _no_ desire to fight.

"Did _you_ do something to her?" Juri was yelling now. "I leave to do your shit in your stupid fighting tournament and you get rid of her the minute I'm gone?"

"What? No!" said Seth incredulously. "I don't give a damn about your stupid spider! We're finishing the tournament right now Han, whether you like it or not!"

"NO!" screamed Juri. "NOT UNTIL I FIND MARIE ANTOINETTE!"

"Fine!" shouted Seth, standing upright. "If you don't want to fight, my job will be easy!"

Juri suddenly froze, her eyes shot wide as she stared up at Seth.

"Seth," she said very, very quietly. "Don't move."

_"What?"_

"Don't. Move," repeated Juri, her eyes huge. She pointed _very_ slowly to some area around his right shoulder. He looked slowly to see saw a series of hairy legs, as long and thick as his fingers, perched there on his pale skin.

Seth let out a bellow of fear and swung his arm, trying to knock the tarantula off of him. He flailed, desperate to get it off, and toppled off the throne's platform…

…right down in front of Juri.

He didn't even hit the ground before her kick caught him in the stomach, shattering his Tandem Engine and sending him hurling headfirst into the far wall. He felt the stabbing pain through his neck and the last thing he saw was Juri's left foot, bearing down on him before it shot through his body.

"You can come out now," said Juri casually, clicking her tongue twice. A set of hairy legs poked out from around one of the legs of Seth's throne.

"Such a clever girl!" cooed Juri, extending an arm up to the platform, so Marie Antoinette could trot down her fingertips and onto into the palm of her hand.

She sauntered out of the control room. Marie Antoinette scuttled off her shoulders to perch comfortably between Juri's breasts.

"Now then dear," purred Juri, offering her partner a small piece of dead rat. "Let's see if Bison's afraid of spiders."

* * *

><p><strong>FIN!<strong>

**Umm…I just **_**pray**_** I didn't offend anyone with the 'eating cats in Korea' joke. If anything, when I came home for Spring Break, my mother started listening to Broadway showtunes and in **_**Sweeney Todd**_** they sing about eating cats in pies before they sing about people. And from what my Vietnamese friend has told me, yes, in most parts of Asia, they do eat cat. So please, I'm begging you, everything was meant in good fun and not meant to attack or offend.**

**Dictionary: "**_**shib-seh-ggi"**_** – Korean variation of "piece of shit."**

**As for my inspiration, I found this picture: www. pixiv member_?mode=manga&illust_id=21836006 **  
><strong>It's in a set of three pictures, and in the second picture you can see Juri asleep on a couch and dreaming that she's playing with a bunch of giant spiders. I knew I wanted to write a fanfic on the picture. (The artist has a lot of unusually drawn art of Juri if you're into fanart of her. Pixiv is a good spot for it.) <strong>

**Thanks to majormario who gave me permission to write this fic even after he already had written a fic where Juri had a pet spider.**

**If it made you laugh, please review!**


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